Don't Panic

I realize now that I have been afraid over the past couple of months.

A pending MRI, played into a fear I have had for years [one of those that appear at 3 in the morning when sleep eludes you]. That fear was that one day I would exhibit symptoms that would call for me to be put head-first into an MRI machine. I am claustrophobic and the very thought put me into panic mode. A couple of weeks ago I was put into an MRI machine head first. Let me assure you that the weeks between the MRI being ordered and actually happening were not relaxing ones!

At the same time, I develop mobility problems that made walking up the stairs from our apartment on the lower level, anything but easy or pleasant. In face it curtailed my ability to go about my usual life, as once up the stairs was all I could face in a day.

Then two things happened almost at the same time. I had the MRI, and with the aid of an anti-anxiety pill, found the process not at all upsetting. Close to the same time, we had a chairlift installed which allowed me to go out whenever and as often as I wanted to. [A side effect being that it left me with energy to deal with any stairs I might encounter while out and about.]

My mood started to change. My energy level went up ..and I realized that I had been depressed, depressed because of my fear of small spaces and my fear of losing my independence. And I began to understand that quote from Roosevelt,“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” I also began to understand that fear can actually take over my life making it virtually impossible to think about anything else. I had become depressed as my mind focused only on my fear.

Is this perhaps why the words ‘fear not’ are repeated so many times in the Bible? The writers of both Old and New Testaments seemed to understand that fear is what leads to depression and to that feeling that life is no longer worth living. Instead we are called to recognize the fear and then to do something about it. The anti-anxiety pill my doctor offered when I told him how the thought of the MRI was affecting me, addressed the cause of that fear and did something about it. Of course I had to trust the doctor and follow his instructions. It wasn’t a magic solution! I was extremely fortunate that we could afford to have the chairlift installed, but there were other options out there such as moving somewhere without stairs. I really wasn’t trapped!

I panicked! That is what the fear did to me. And so I like the modern translation of this quote from Isaiah:“Do not fear, for I am with you…” [Isaiah 41:10a NRSV] which the MSG translates as “ “Don't panic. I'm with you…”

God is not going to fix whatever you fear for you. Instead, you are called upon not panic but to take control of what is happening and look for the options that are there.

Be not afraid.… Don’t panic!

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