It Doesn't Take Brains

I often hear my mother's voice saying ‘It doesn't take any brains to be uncomfortable’. I wonder if she ever had any idea that she was giving me my first lesson in theology… I didn’t until just recently!

I was the perfect model of a modern church-goer; in the pews every Sunday, active in the woman's group, the choir, the Sunday School, always ready to volunteer. But I was uncomfortable on the inside, so uncomfortable in fact that I was seriously thinking of walking out of my church rather than live a lie.

I remember walking along the street in the 60’s thinking “I am just as much a daughter of God as Jesus is a son.”  But I knew better than to voice those thoughts aloud! After all women weren’t even allowed to be priests way back then.

I went back to university in the 80’s, looking to the acquisition of new knowledge to resolve my troubled feelings. Unfortunately [or fortunately, depending how you look at it] that didn’t work. It just showed me that while the opportunity to question existed with in the university setting, there it stayed. My priest at the time, while he never spoke to me, confided to my husband that he was afraid each Sunday that I would challenge him during or after the sermon. What a difference it would have made had he once spoken to me about his fears and the reasons behind them!

My angst kept increasing, until finally in 2009 I really was ready to walk out of the doors of the church, and not look back. However, it was then that our church offered the video series called “Living the Questions” … and I learned that I wasn’t the only one with questions and thoughts that were outside the smaller box called church but were at the same time inside a much larger box, Christianity. 

Not being afraid to ask those questions, reflecting on the answers, all the while looking out for that which resonates, has taken me to places that didn’t exist even in my imagination; places that seemed scary and threatening at first, but ended up being affirming and life-giving.

Just the other day I was reminded once again of my mother’s saying by a store clerk who commented ‘I never thought of that!’, as I mentioned my solution to wearing my bag cross-body. And isn’t that just the whole point! Astro-physics isn’t needed, but thinking is, whenever we are uncomfortable. 

There is a solution out there. All it requires is that we ask the questions, and then decide which of the answers will best serve to resolve the problem for us.

We all ask different questions and come up with differing answers. The important thing is not to be afraid to ask your questions and to explore the answers until you find one that resonates with you.