Skip to main content

Losing a Friend.

I was seven years old and had just moved to a new community 2 years earlier. Blackie, a small black kitten (the imagination of an almost five year old apparently isn't well developed...lol..) came with us and became my anchor in this new place. Then one evening Blackie didn't return from the mousing with which he filled his days. I had faith though, and scoured the surrounding fields for days and weeks looking and calling for him. There was nary a faint meow! Then, although it broke my heart, I convinced myself that he had found another home that he liked better, but still might turn up eventually when he remembered me. 

It was much later, years after my father died, that my mother told me he had found Blackie dead on the highway in front of our house after being hit by a car. His reason for not telling me was he didn't want me to be upset! Little did he know that telling me he would have prevented decades of my feeling abandoned by the first ‘person’ outside of my family that I had trusted myself to love.

As I still think about this today some 66 years later, I can see a corollary to this story in the institutional church of today. While I grew up in the United Church of Canada widely touted for it’s inclusive and current theology, it was still a church where the minister who told his confirmation class that the old Testament was written by ‘J’, ‘P’ and ‘D’ instead of Moses, didn’t last much more than a year in our small town church and where the flannelboards used in the Sunday School lessons showed Jonah living inside the whale even to having a lit candle on the table that was in there with him.

Why is it that the Christmas stories all include a virgin birth, and the creed we say on Sunday talk about a bodily resurrection? Why does the church talk about the gospels being written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, as well as giving St. Paul the credit for writing 1&2 Timothy, Titus, Ephesians, Colossians and 2 Thessalonians, all of which are disputed by scholars. Why are we not told that St. Paul, who by his own admission never met Jesus, wrote his lettres first to be followed by the gospels, written by people who were probably already familiar with his writings? And I could go on and on. 


The answer is, I believe, that the church ‘thinks’ that if we don’t have the promise of heaven, that if we actually knew where theology had gone in the last hundred years, we would leave the church. [similar to my father not wanting me to know that Blackie was dead, because that would upset me].


Instead what has happened is that people are leaving the church because they can no longer accept these things.  They can no longer live in two worlds, one on Sunday, that the church upholds, and one the other six days that is supported by current scientific knowledge. For me, my religious understanding has to be in sync with the knowledge in the world around me. Yes, that means my understanding will change! No, that is not a bad thing!




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This, too ...

  ‘By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to set out for a place that he was to receive as an inheritance; and he set out, not knowing where he was going.’   -Hebrews 11:8  Dr. Theresa Tam, Chief Public Health Officer of Canada, says this, too, will pass . Dr. Eileen de Villa, Medical Official of Health for Toronto, says this, too, will pass . Justin Trudeau , Prime Minister of Canada, says this, too, will pass . But will it really??? Some days this feels like an unending struggle with just one tiny step forward and not just two, but more like a dozen steps back.  Of course I’m talking about COVID-19 with all its associated variants. We might even be forgiven for rewriting that well known quote from Ecclesiastes to read…. For everything there is a season,…but  just not for this ! Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a French priest,  might well have been talking about COVID   when he penned the lines below: We should like to skip  The ...

A Stitch in Time

  Over the years, I have done my share of knitting, crocheting, cross stitch, and sewing.  However as the years have passed the arthritis in my hands and the slowly but surely progressing macular degeneration in my eyes have made handwork of any kind well nigh impossible.   In this time of a global pandemic when we are told to stay home to stay safe, it seems that everyone around me is either knitting up a storm for the grandchildren, for the homeless, for the housebound, painting pictures or cupboards, or even making quilts for posterity. To put it mildly, I was feeling left out of the activity and just a little sorry for myself. Then this poem came across the screen of my iPad..... I cannot sew,  I cannot knit,  yet still I stitch,  yet still I stitch  these remnants from another time.  I stitch,   I stitch with words instead  to lay across my feathered bed... this patchwork quilt".  (Written by Judy Imrie) And...

Challenging Faith

“All giving constitutes a challenge to faith because there is no guarantee of a return.” When I heard this statement as part of a sermon on Rogation Sunday, my ears pricked up and my mind started to spin. The rest of the sermon had things to say as well, but this sentence is still the one that has stuck with me. It made, and is still making me think! For those of us who identify ourselves with the church, whenever we hear the word ‘givings’ our minds go immediately to what we put on the offering plate each Sunday and for that we expect, but are not guaranteed, that the church will be there for us when we need it; for weddings, baptisms, funerals and other rites of passage. However what intrigues me about this quotation is that first word. “ ALL giving constitutes a challenge …” And how true it is! Each time we ‘give’ something away and it doesn’t have the expected return, it is upsetting and we have all had that experience. I remember many years ago s...

A Mist that Appears

July    24th this year marked 2 years since Clarke had cancer surgery. It seems like it happened in another lifetime.    Mid-August, that same year, granddaughter left to teach in England. She came home for Christmas that same year but then we didn’t see her again until then end of July this year.    Our long-time cleaning lady has just returned after 17 months.    All of these seem to have happened much longer ago then they actually did.  I was reminded of a programme on Time featuring Stephen Hawking that I saw on the television a few years back. He made the comment that time doesn’t exist except when we use it to mark ages, hours, years or distances, heat or cold, etc. Time is in fact something that we humans have invented to serve our own needs.    When nothing new is happening, time slows down for us. Remember those summers when you were a kid that lasted forever? But when new things are happening, time speeds up and you hear p...

'Slow but steady wins the race' ~ Aesop

“Any act often repeated soon forms a habit; and habit allowed, steady gains in strength, At first it may be but as a spider's web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel.”  Tryon Edwards [from Wikiedia: Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894, Detroit,) was an American theologian, best known for compiling A Dictionary of Thoughts, a book of quotations. He published the works of Jonathan Edwards (the younger) in 1842. He also compiled and published the sixteen sermons of his great grandfather, Jonathan Edwards, on 1 Corinthians 13 ] Just lately I have become aware of changes that have happened unbeknown to me. One I can explain and it links into the title quote for Aesop, ‘Slow and steady wins the race’.  A year ago this January when my husband was hospitalized it was a long, long way each day from the parking lot to his room. This January, when the same thing occurred, the distance to the room seemed much shorter even though the rooms ...

Reaching Out

“ Thanks for reaching out ” were the words coming through the telephone receiver into my ear. I had just remembered the stoma nurse’s words to us to call her when we were scheduled to see the surgeon for the post-op visit, I hadn't really felt I should bother her. But a couple of days before that event, I did pick up the phone and place the call, leaving a voice mail. It was answered by another voice mail, to which I responded with my original message again. And finally a real person was on  the other end of the line. Arrangements were made for the day of the consultation with her final words to me being ‘Thanks for reaching out.’  Initially that surprised me, but on further reflection I began to see that only by my reaching out to her was she able to finish doing the job she was trained to do. Sometimes in this culture we see ‘reaching out’ or ‘asking for help’ or ‘admitting that we don’t know what to do’ to be a sign of weakness.We should be able to cope, we tell ourse...

The Candle is Peace....

“ A candle is burning, a candle of PEACE,   A candle to signal that conflict must cease   For Jesus is coming to show us the way   A message of peace humbly laid in the hay” ~words by Sandra Dean What conflict does our society see as needing to cease? Many see a conflict within their family, where peace can be brought about by expelling/silencing someone who is the cause of the conflict, who is unwilling to go along with the family’s expectations or who is unable to abide by them through mental illness or addiction. Peace to them means quiet because no one dares to challenge the status quo. “All I want under my tree Peace and love and harmony Wrap it with a ribbon please I'll share it with my family." ~Chorus from ‘With my Family’ by Rita MacNeil, 1993 Peace for the country happens when the powers that be are in charge, making decisions that are followed unquestioningly by the proletariat   - no riots, no strikes, no protests there. ...

Faces

“Poor and afflicted and oppressed people have faces, and we are required to look squarely into them. We can’t love what we won’t experience.”   ~Nancy Mairs Years ago the women’s group at the church that I was attending was talking about the arrival in the neighbourhood of a home for abused women. As various ideas were put forward as to how we might react to this, a couple of the ladies were very forthright in their disagreement. After all, they said, these women had asked for it! Despite this, the evening ended with a decision being made to start a clothing centre for these women who would arrive at the shelter with little besides the clothes on their backs. Being good Christian woman, both of these ladies signed up to take a shift or two a month. Imaging my surprise when a few months later one of them came up to me after church to tell me the ‘those’ women were just like everybody else! Now a story from a little closer to home. We spent three weeks in Cape Town, Sou...

Hope springs eternal....

The season of Advent starts this coming Sunday, the beginning of the church year. I have decided to do something a little different and so for the next 4 weeks, I will be reflecting about a different verse in a well-known Advent hymn.  Each Sunday in Advent, a candle in the advent wreath is lit in our homes and during our worship services. The lighting of the candle is usually accompanied by readings and/or singing. Here is the first verse of  " A Candle is Burning ", with words by Sandra Dean and sung to the familiar tune of "Away in a Manger" .  " A candle is burning, a flame warm and bright, A candle of HOPE in November's dark night While angels sing blessings from heaven's starry sky, Our hearts we prepare now for Jesus is nigh " Or as Desmond Tutu said, "Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness." As the days in the northern hemisphere grow darker with the shortest day of the year o...

An Allegory

Once upon a time there was a knight and his lady, who lived contently for many years in a southern kingdom. As they aged however, their manor became too big for them and so they decided to relocate in a northern kingdom where smaller quarters were available. They left their friends of many years with a sad good-bye and set off for new adventures. They settled quite happily in their new abode, and joined in all the activities and merry-making until one day, they had to drop out of some of the activities because of their declining years.  No one came to ask them why they were no longer taking part. Instead the rest of the folk in that kingdom ignored them and it became very lonely for the knight and his lady The king suggested that they might be happier is a neighbouring kingdom and so they moved a short distance and set up house one more time.  This time though things went well for many years.  Then the king died. The heir apparent had many different ideas about what ...