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"Friendly?"

You go somewhere new. You come away and say “They were a friendly lot” You hear a church, or a club, or a choir, described as being ‘friendly’. You say of someone that you may have known for many years that they are your ‘best’ friend, or in the vernacular of the day that they are your BFF. We hear that dogs are man’s [or woman’s] best friend. All these ways of using the word ‘friend’ have slightly different meanings. However they all fall within the meanings given by the Merriman-Webster dictionary: “acting like a friend, kind & helpful; having or showing the feelings friends have for each other; showing approval or support”.

In John 13:34, 35, we read these words that the writer put on the lips of Jesus: "Let me give you a new commandment: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples - when they see the love you have for each other."

Surely these words challenge us to a higher standard. So just what should I expect of a church that describes itself as friendly?

The same courtesy that I would expect at any gathering should be a given: friendly greetings, chit-chat, superficial interest in my family and my life, with a friendly goodbye at the finish…. this should all be expected without question. However, this is also only the beginning of what it means to be a friendly church. The Bible, that collection of literature that we as Christians look to for inspiration and guidance, has a harder saying for us.  We are called to treat our friends, indeed to love our friends, as Jesus loved.

So how then does this challenge us as a church community or any community of Christians to live? What actual difference does it make to live in love in a community? How will it ‘look different’ to outsides or newcomers?

To me, the real difference is in the depth of the relationship. Yes, it is about the superficial ‘Hellos’, the ‘How are you?’, the ‘What’s up?’, the social stuff of daily living.  But it is even more about what is not seen. It is about being aware when someone else is hurting and standing with them. It is about empowering each other so that everyone may express their ministry as an integral and valued part of the whole. It means when someone is missing from the community, you go looking for them and bring them back. It means that each and every member of the community is more important to you than your own life.

It does not mean that there are no disagreements, misunderstandings, hurt feeling or differing expectations. But it does mean that by listening to, by dialoguing with, and by communication, those issues can be resolved. The community does not hesitate to take up those hard issues that appear in the life of any group – but meets them head on, in a spirit of trust and vulnerability.

This, to me, would be a ‘friendly church’, where it could be said “and you know they are Christians by their love” – particularly by their love for one another.

Comments

  1. Terry DranitsarisOctober 16, 2013 at 4:14 PM

    Your topic of conversion is a beautiful subject. Yes we all make the statement we have friends, I think of how often we use this word day to day, as you stated in your comments. When I saw the subject today I immediately was drawn into the Bible's interpretation of the word friend, Friendship and love run together in the scriptures and the one first text that came into my mind was the text in John 15;12,14, the impact of this kind of friendship is the kind we as Christian's should demonstrate towards one another. Yes our Christian family is like family we will indeed have moments of disagreement or perhaps hurt one another unintentionally or deal with frustrations with another person who may just rub us the wrong way and we are called to have our thinking readjusted or settled in the spirit of true love. I think John expressed the depth of how friendship and love among the family of God should be, for he states this, John 15;
    12 ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. NRSV..

    I believe with all of my heart that in our Christian family and my friendship with them I can honestly say I don't think one would hesitate for a second out of friendship and love of Christ to give their life for another if need be, or go to a great lengths to help their Christian brothers or sisters. I know if it were asked of me I would ask God to give me the strength to show this love and depth of friendship to another. As it is a divine commandment set by our Lord Jesus Christ.
    I see so many loyal friendship within the parish and I have been the recipient of that great love from so many friends in Church.I am certain this exists in many of God's churches all around the world.
    I would like to believe that all the people who make the claim that they are my friends outside of my Christian family would show forth this same kind of devotion love and friendship, I believe I can say several would.
    However others I am not certain of because there is no depth to these friendships, It is as you put it , its,' hi how are you? how are you feeling> whats new?, this is all superficial. Its only when we go beyond these perimeters that we come to understand what the true meaning of friendship, love and loyalty is all about. We are then the true reflection of our Lord our Creator our Master Worker. For is true love and our best freind..

    I really enjoyed you topic today and I look forward to you blog each week. I can't wait to see what is in store next week. Thanks you for taking the time to share your blog with other. Terry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Terry DranitsarisOctober 16, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    I apologize the last sentence I forgot to proof read ant the sentence should say I really enjoyed YOUR topic today and I look forward to YOUR blog each week, I can't wait to see what is in store next week. THANK you for taking the time to share your blog with others they are fantastic. Terry.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lynn EdwardOctober 16, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    Terry, I am going to push your comment a little farther. Where you say 'the impact of this kind of friendship is the kind we as Christian's should demonstrate towards one another', I would like to amend that to say 'the impact of this kind of friendship is the kind we as Christian's demonstrate towards one another'. I don't think there is room for a 'should' in that statement. If we want to call ourselves Christians, and are modeling our behavior on the reported behavior of Jesus, then there is no 'should' about it. Is this easy? NO Do we always succeed? NO But the expectation of Christians is that that is exactly how we live. When we don't, we have fallen short of that expectation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Terry DranitsarisOctober 16, 2013 at 8:30 PM

      I agree, the word SHOULD have not be included in that statement. Your amendment is completely accurate.. I appreciate your conclusion. Thanks for drawing this to my attention. It broadens the meaning on a much greater scale.
      Shalom, Terry

      Delete

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