Two Sisters

The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.’ 1 John 4:20 [The Message Bible]

A conversation happened between 2 sisters: Joelle, a cradle member of the United Church, says, “Our church is holding Vacation Bible School next week and the theme for this year is ‘Water’ Patsy, also a cradle member of the United Church, but a newly-minted member of the local Baptist congregation replies, ‘Oh, our Vacation Bible School was about ‘God!’

I have known both these sisters for many years, in particular, Joelle. Yet when this conversation was repeated to me by Joelle, it led to the first conversation I have ever had with her about anything to do even faintly with religion. [I must admit that during this conversation, I did get accused of ‘thinking’ too much, something I readily admit that as an introvert I do very easily!] Joelle was struggling with reconciling her understandings with the more rigid viewpoint now adopted by her sister, all the while, applauding the new-found enthusiasm for religion shown by Patsy. As we talked, I found I didn’t need to say very much at all. My comment that for me, what we do [orthopaxy] is more important that what we believe [orthodoxy], brought forth the response from my friend that yes, that was what the Golden Rule said, wasn’t it.This in turn led into a discussion about whether a deceased family member had been ‘saved’ or not which I’m pretty sure was the root cause of the original story being shared.

The whole incident made me stop and think. How often do we back away from saying anything about our personal beliefs, feeling that we don’t know enough, haven’t got all the answers, might offend someone else? Yet, although in this case I was prepared to go further, it wasn’t necessary. But what was necessary, and indeed had been hoped for when my friend shared her story, was to hear my personal view of where I stood without any judgement of anyone, telling her in effect that she wasn’t alone in her thoughts. If I had backed off and not made the response I did, that conversation would have been over, and an opportunity to get to know Joelle at a deep level gone, perhaps forever.

After all the Golden Rule, as it is commonly called, is really about Love, love of the other and love of yourself. You are asked to treat all others just as you yourself would want to be treated. And so, to suggest to someone that a loved one might not have gone to heaven because they weren’t saved, is not following the Golden Rule. Whether or not, you truly believe that is not the point. The point is that saying that to someone is not the best way to go. It could well make them unhappy or uneasy about the fate of their loved one, depending their beliefs…. unhappy without the ability to right the wrong, so to speak. As it says in Ephesians 4:29 'Watch the way you talk… Say only what helps, each word a gift.’

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