"But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins." - Mitchell David "Mitch" Albom (born May 23, 1958), an American author, journalist, screenwriter, dramatist, radio and television broadcaster, and musician…is perhaps best known for the inspirational stories and themes that weave through his books, plays, and films. ]
On the day before Mother's Day this year, I was at a gathering of 200 women. One after another the speakers wished us a Happy Mother's Day- and each time it was repeated I felt myself become more and more uncomfortable. They don't know who is in the audience- perhaps their child has died, or they never were a mother…
Today (Mother's Day) I was walking around the track at the gym thinking back over past Mother's Days spent with my mom. I remember very clearly hearing over and over the story of her first Mother's Day. After 10 years of marriage, she was finally a mother. Imagine her disappointed when there was no card, no gift, no flowers for her that Mother’s Day! When she mentioned it to my father, he looked at her, amazed, and said "But you aren't my mother!’ So I’m wondering how much of my discomfort yesterday was caused by a concern for the others who might be in the audience and how much by this backstory. While my reactions definitely came partly from all these options, I suspect that the largest part was because of this story that has been part of my life as long as I can remember.
You hear a lot these days about someone’s past influencing their present, about children from abusive or alcoholic homes perpetuating that abuse in their own lives. But you also hear about those people who've been able to leave these abuses behind. They both have the same backstory … so what makes the difference? I suspect it might be in some cases because they have been able to add a second , third, or fourth story to that narrative. These later stories, while they don’t wipe out the backstory, do present options to that story. At the same time, you also hear about ‘having the freedom to choose’, to go your own way, make our own mind up based on the facts of the moment. This too is a fallacy, as all of our decisions are based on the story of our lives up to that point.
Bart Ehrman is an American professor and scholar. He is one of North America's leading scholars in his field, having written and edited 30 books, including three college textbooks. focusing on textual criticism of the New Testament, the historical Jesus, and the development of early Christianity. And so why do I read on his website that having been brought up a fundamentalist, he no longer considers himself to be a Christian? Here is how Ehrman himself explains it: “I came to realize, after years of struggle, that I no longer could believe there was a God who was active and involved in this world, where there is so much pain and misery: famine, drought, epidemics, natural disasters, birth defects, and on and on and on. I just got to a point where I didn’t believe there really was a god who answers prayer who works to improve people’s lives. It was then that I realize I no longer could consider myself a believer.” Was this a case of the ‘backstory’ in his life, taking precedence over what he had learned in later years? I think so.
Your backstory is part of you, part of your story today. How much a part, and how it influences your everyday decisions, is up to you!
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