Who are we really?

“Your religion is what's important to you.”

Last summer I saw a play by J.M.Barrie for the first time. Up until then, I only thought of him as the author of “Peter Pan” and had never realized that he also was a playwright. [It constantly amazes me how little I actually know. ..but that is a theme for another day!] The short play we saw, called ‘The Twelve Pound Look’ is a satire, revolving around the conflicting tensions in the suffragette movement. But what stayed with me after the play and has stayed with me ever since, was not any of the witticisms, but rather this line that came near the end. This echoes what Thomas Aquinas said in an earlier age, “The things that we love tell us what we are.”

These men are essentially saying the same thing, one as a secular playwright and the other as a Doctor of the Church. For me, it is something not only to consider once and then to put aside but something that it is important to keep continually in the forefront of my thoughts.

So what is important to me and what do I love? [other Maslow’s more basic needs of "physiological", "safety", "belongingness" and “love”] In no particular order, my digital ‘toys’, some disposable income to use for others, being challenged mentally, and having opportunities to use my abilities for others are important to me. I might say that I ‘love’ technology, ‘love’ theological reflection, ‘love’ quiet times spent with friends and family, that I ‘love’ to read. Are these two list mutually exclusive? I don’t really think so. They seem to me to be like two sides of the same coin as I suspect they should be for anyone. But are they actually that way?

Religion for most of us is mainly concerned with how we spend our Sundays. What denomination we grew up as part of? How often we attend services? And where? I don’t know of anyone who would respond to the question ‘What is your religion?’ with the answer ‘getting a promotion at work’. Nor do I know anyone who during the other seven days would respond to the question ‘What’s important to you?’ with the answer ‘Going to church’. We tend to separate our behaviours on Sunday from our behaviours on the other six days of the week with this kind of dualistic thinking. But if you really think about it, your true values influence everything you do and your religion is that which gives you your values.

So your ‘religion’ is not actually Anglican or Methodist, not Protestant or Roman Catholic, not Buddhist or Islam, but rather is all those behaviours you exhibit every day that show others what is important to you. Is it the balance in your bank account or is it what you do with the money? Are you happy to spend long hours of overtime at work, or do you refuse that overtime to be with family and friends?

And for me, why do I ‘love’ my iPhone [which is the one thing that I would desperately want to survive a disaster]? I ‘love’ it because it provides a link to the other people in my life, to my personal library, to my financial resources, in short because it contains in a very real way, complete my life! My ‘Google’ history shows what is important to me, as does the content of my inbox, my library and my bank records.

If you were asked what you would find the hardest to live without, what would you answer? And more importantly what does that tell you both about your ‘religion’, and what you ‘love’?

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