Most people change
their email addresses, and most computers remember those addresses long after
they have been ‘deleted’ from your contact list. Just the other day, I got caught again!
Admittedly I wasn’t paying all that
close attention to what I was doing. The email had been written,
proofread and mulled over. Adding the address was a ‘no-brainer’. Several days later however I noticed one
of those ‘Delivery Status Notification Status (Failure) ‘ messages and found to
my chagrin that the computer had picked up an address long discarded in place
of any of the current ones. So off the message went again along with a note of
apology this time for my lack of attention the first time round. As I was
silently berating myself for my inexcusable carelessness, I realized that my
mind is very much like my computer in this regard.
Not long after
this, my husband was reading a monthly publication and remarked that he ‘missed’ a certain column in it, one that hadn’t
been there for over a year. For a moment, to him, that year had evaporated.
I remember well
being given some devastating news and my very
first reaction being that I
wished I believed in a ‘sky god’ who would make everything alright! I
was completely taken aback….how could I entertain this thought for even a
moment?
Each of these three
scenarios tell the same story, that both computers and humans have a default
position. We accept it as ‘just
one of those things that happen’ when
our computer pulls up an old address out of nowhere and in fact we can be
grateful for the ability to return to a ‘default’ position when we have inadvertently
screwed something up!
Sometimes, for us
too, being able to return to a ‘default’ position is necessary to get us through
a traumatic event. The harm comes when the default position becomes the norm
again for us and we refuse to move out of it.
I first started
thinking about writing this blog about 6 months ago but never managed to get it
on paper. This past week I experienced a personal crisis and realized,
after the fact, that the need for the ‘sky
god’ had never entered my
consciousness. Depending on my own resources and accessing my
community of friends and family, the crisis was met and handled.
Lest I think that
my default position is no longer there, I noticed yesterday morning as I was approaching the hospital
parking lot, my mind was saying "Please let me find a parking place!
Please! Please!" (And BTW, I did!) So now I know that while the 'sky' god
is still there sometimes, he isn't the there ALL the time - and that shows
progress, at least to me. Will he ever be completely gone?
Does this mean that over time our default position can change? I
hope so, because otherwise we are forever stuck in our past.
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