"Lactose Intolerant"

I have gradually become lactose-intolerant over the last few years. At first I attributed the symptoms to old age; my digestive system was simply getting 'cranky'. It wasn't until I found the sight of coffee (which I take with plenty of milk) off-putting that I began to take things seriously. After all, I could imagine living quite happily without a lot of things but coffee wasn't anywhere near the top of that list! After three weeks of NO coffee, it began to smell good once again. A trip to the store and the purchase of some lactose-free milk, and I was once more enjoying my favorite beverage.

So what does this have to do with "Nudgings"? There are many forms of intolerance in this world and society. The intolerance that we project on someone or something else is huge. However, my thoughts led me to another form of intolerance... that which has marked my spiritual journey over the major part of my life.

Just as with milk I have found that various teachings of the church began to disagree with me! The first teaching I can remember niggling away at me, was the one that said Jesus was God's Son, and that put him in a special place between God and mortals, as someone we needed to ask to present our concerns to God. "Well," says the 30-year-old me, (but only to myself) "That's ridiculous! I'm as much a daughter of God, as he [Jesus] is the son of God." And so started a journey of weeding out those things that I had formed an intolerance for. However on the surface, I was able to retain my facade of church respectability!

Of course over the years, it became more and more uncomfortable to hide my true feelings behind that facade until, like giving up coffee, leaving the church seemed to be my only option. It was at this point that the writings of a host of people like J.T.Robinson, John Shelby Spong, Marcus Borg, John Dominic Crossan and others, came into my life. Like 'lactose-free' milk has done with coffee, they made it possible for me to stay within the institutional church a while longer. The very fact that I was not alone in my questioning, in my thoughts, made a huge difference. I remember the feeling of reading them for the first time with the thought going through my mind, "That's what I think too!"

I might give up coffee one day, just as I might give up on the institutional church, but it will not be because it disagrees with me, but perhaps because I am no longer willing to make the necessary allowances to continue, be it using 'lactose-free' milk, or looking beyond the centuries-old doctrines and trappings of the church.

What intolerances of the spirit or of the body are you living with? What can you do to ease them?

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NUDGINGS: a journey into the unknown

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