Stories of the Season (#3)

Read in the Babylon Bee [2019]

U.S.-Bible scholars now claim the wise men didn’t deliver their gifts in person a few years late, as is commonly believed, but instead delivered presents directly to the Messiah using Amazon’s convenient one-day Prime shipping.

“Instead of making the long, dangerous trek through the desert, the Magi simply hopped on Amazon and ordered gold, frankincense, and myrrh for one low price with free one-day shipping included,” said Dr. Brad Larson of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. “There really was no sense in going all that way when Mary and Joseph already had a convenient Amazon Wishlist all set up for the newborn king.”

Of course, scholars think the wise men committed the gift-giving sin of going “off-list”, ordering Jesus things they thought He would enjoy rather then sticking to the list.

“We appreciate the gesture, of course,” Mary reportedly told a source. “But diapers and a Starbucks gift card would have been a lot more useful. The gold is nice, though - - I’m not knocking it.”

According to researchers, Herod stopped the Amazon driver on his way in, asking where the packages were headed. The driver promised to come back and report on where the Messiah was born but failed to do so as he had 478 more stops to make in Bethlehem and ran out of time.

* * * * * *

The first time I read this modern-day version of the well-loved Christmas story, I dismissed it as being simply ‘silly’ and maybe good for a laugh in some quarters. However it has stayed with me over the past couple of weeks and I have come to realize that it contains a hidden message.

WE decide what it is that Jesus wants from us, and sometimes, yes, that involves denial and sacrifice. Sometimes that denial and sacrifice is needed and good. But not always. As in the story above where Mary wanted diapers [a necessity with any baby] we often miss doing the things that Jesus actually asked his disciples to do in favour of those things that make a ‘splash’ [like gold, frankincense and myrrh].To be peacemakers instead of war-mongers, To love justice instead of power. To help those in need even if [or especially if] they are our neighbour. Everyday life gives us myriad opportunities to live as Jesus taught his disciples to. Let’s make sure we don’t miss them because we think they are too mundane!

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