NUDGINGS: a journey into the unknown

1 Peter 5:5[b]  …Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Have you ever been asked to chair a committee or lead a discussion, and said “No” even if you secretly wanted to? Have you ever responded to a compliment by belittling the speaker’s words? Have you ever ‘pooh-poohed’ the suggestion that you did something well? Well, I have, to all of the above. After all  weren't  we taught in Sunday school that we should be humble and not think too highly of ourselves? But how many of us have said “I can’t be the secretary because I can’t spell?” or “I don’t like your idea because it isn’t mine?” I wager that, like me, you come up with another excuse like “I’d love too but I’m much too busy!” or “I like your idea but it would never work!” What if we have the meaning of being humble backwards? What if being humble actually means that we are to admit our shortcomings to others rather than trying

We say we are Christians. We say we believe in the Holy Spirit. But how many of us attend the weekly service in the church of our choice with no 'real' expectations of anything actually happening beyond the known? I suspect that is the case for many of us. I know, for myself, the unexpected has happened only 6 times in 41 years of 'regular' church attendance. I suspect it might have happened far more often had I only been open and receptive to it. Each time the setting was different - alone, in a crowd, in a small group, with one other. Each time had different but intense feelings - peace, acknowledgement, support, healing, intense excitement, belonging. Each time I thought, "I just imagined that! It didn't really happen!" Each time is as clear in my memory as the day it happened. So what can we do to be more open to the Spirit as we worship? Sometimes 'God' will break through into 'our' present uninvited ... but I suspect that

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself. and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope I have that desire in all I am doing I hope I will never do anything apart from that desire And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Thomas Merton [1915-1968]