NUDGINGS: a journey into the unknown

“Look after yourself!” Oh those words, so well meant and heard so often this past summer! Words that I have used often in the past myself. They are well meant words, said by those who are concerned and want to show that concern. I know that! But after hearing them said so often, in so many difference voices over the last 8 months, I find myself reacting differently on hearing them.  At first I was stunned, then dismayed by my reaction. I felt ungrateful. What was wrong with me? Why was I beginning to resent hearing these words? But then I took some time to think about just why I was feeling the way I did, and also why, if this was such good advice, why did no one ever take it - or so it seemed. To me, these words “Look after yourself’ deny the basic principle not only in Christianity but all the major world religions. Christians call it the Golden Rule - to do unto others what you would have them do to you, or ‘To love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all y...

“Poor and afflicted and oppressed people have faces, and we are required to look squarely into them. We can’t love what we won’t experience.”   ~Nancy Mairs Years ago the women’s group at the church that I was attending was talking about the arrival in the neighbourhood of a home for abused women. As various ideas were put forward as to how we might react to this, a couple of the ladies were very forthright in their disagreement. After all, they said, these women had asked for it! Despite this, the evening ended with a decision being made to start a clothing centre for these women who would arrive at the shelter with little besides the clothes on their backs. Being good Christian woman, both of these ladies signed up to take a shift or two a month. Imaging my surprise when a few months later one of them came up to me after church to tell me the ‘those’ women were just like everybody else! Now a story from a little closer to home. We spent three weeks in Cape Town, Sou...

“ Thanks for reaching out ” were the words coming through the telephone receiver into my ear. I had just remembered the stoma nurse’s words to us to call her when we were scheduled to see the surgeon for the post-op visit, I hadn't really felt I should bother her. But a couple of days before that event, I did pick up the phone and place the call, leaving a voice mail. It was answered by another voice mail, to which I responded with my original message again. And finally a real person was on  the other end of the line. Arrangements were made for the day of the consultation with her final words to me being ‘Thanks for reaching out.’  Initially that surprised me, but on further reflection I began to see that only by my reaching out to her was she able to finish doing the job she was trained to do. Sometimes in this culture we see ‘reaching out’ or ‘asking for help’ or ‘admitting that we don’t know what to do’ to be a sign of weakness.We should be able to cope, we tell ourse...

“You don’t need a plan; you just need to be present.”  ~Bob Goff (Bob Goff is a writer and an international motivational speaker. In 2016 he launched the Dream Big Framework, a curriculum and workshop designed to motivate people to accomplish their biggest dreams and ambitions) We have all come up against those occasions both in our own lives and in the lives of others, when we have uttered these words, “I don’t know what to do!” either aloud or silently.  For some reason we seem to be hard-wired to feel that we must have the answers, must know what to do, or we aren’t being any help at all. Over the last 8 months I have come to appreciate those people who can just be present, without feeling the need to ‘do’ something. They are the ones who know instinctively what it is that they need to do.  They are acting in response to the present moment, not a previously thought-out plan or agenda. It is actually a little like prayer. Prayer, they say, changes ...

“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” ~ Ursula K. Le Guin My husband is the bread maker in our family. Our grandchildren love his buns. And so the bread-making machine comes out whenever they are expected so that there might be freshly baked buns, still warm from the oven, for them to enjoy. There might be buns in the freezer that we could just warm up. But no, new bread must be made. And so it is with love, according to Ursula K. Le Guin. I had never thought before of love needing to be remade, made new.  We have all heard many sermons about Love, how we are loved by God and therefore must love others in the same way. Indeed ‘God is Love’ is a familiar saying taken from 1 John:4. In fact as The Message Bible put it: ‘Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God.’ And therein lies the clue… we  are not only born of God but we also have a relationship with God...

“What we must do is commit ourselves to some future that can include each other and to work toward that future with the particular strengths of our individual identities. And in order to do this, we must allow each other our differences at the same time as we recognize our sameness.” ~ Audre Lorde It was the last sentence of this quote by Audre Lorde, an American writer and civil rights activist, that caught my attention. I knew what our differences were! But I started thinking and wondering about just what our sameness might be…. As members of the human family we all have the same need for food, for water, for shelter from the elements. But the food, the water, the shelter can vary depending on where we are and the conditions there.  Here in Canada we need shelter from both the winter’s cold and the summer’s heat. In the tropics, the winter’s cold isn’t so much of a problem. So our housing needs are very different.  The diets of people differ depending on what is ...

“So much of religion and spirituality that is offered to us is about how to sand down the edges.  It just so happens that the jagged edges of our humanity are actually what connects us to God and each other.” ~Nadia Bolz-Weber Have you ever noticed how when you have a new car, there are new cars everywhere you look, or if there is a new baby in your future, pregnant woman abound? Well, these past few weeks my life has been full of new connections and what should arrive one day in my email but the above quotation! Those connections in my life have been the doctors, the nurses, the nurse-practisers, and the families of other patients, as my husband was moved from room to room on the Step Down Unit of a Toronto hospital.  And I never wondered why I, an introvert, was making all these new connections when I should have been sitting quietly in a corner letting the world pass me by. Then Nadia gave me the answer. Connections are made with jagged edges and I certa...